There are a lot of things I still don't know. But I really wish people would give me credit on the few areas that I would say I have A LOT of experience in.

For instance, one of my doctor's called the other day, left a message and said to call her about my test results. I call back, the doctor's gone and the nurse was like, "I guess you can talk to her on Tuesday." This was Friday morning.

Here's the deal--THE DOCTOR DOES NOT LEAVE PERSONAL MESSAGES JUST TO CALL HER IF IT'S GOOD NEWS. Never. They'd tell you everything was fine, not to worry and they'll see you at your next appointment. I told the nurse, "Look, I know something's up. I've been through enough, so please just tell me what's up." She was hesitating, and put me on hold for like five minutes. When she came back, she told me a test was abnormal. It's probably nothing, but I lost it a bit anyway, and then she's going, "Oh, my god, I never should have told you," to which I had to reply, "No, me getting upset for five minutes is way better than anticipating what could be wrong for five days. I know you can see my health history--the cancer and all, so I can take bad news. And this is just run of the mill bad news." I hang up and tell her to have a good weekend.

Then it occurs to me to call back and give my cell phone #--they only had my home phone # so I'll never be able to connect with the doctor since she'll mostly call when I'm at work. I leave a message and then I get a call back telling me that the nurse paged the doc and she'll call me in a bit. She does. And i now in a lovely game of telephone she says, "Why do you think you have cancer again? Why did you tell the nurse that?" She was being very kind, but at the same time, I couldn't help but be a little agitated at the nurse because I hadn't said that. But I often find that people goto the extremes of conversations. Do you know what I mean? I make a few statements about certain American policies, and all of the sudden I hate America outright. I apparently want to live in another country and well, can I come up with another country as good as America? I'm like, wah? I didn't say that. "Oh, no, but that's what you were thinking." And I'm like, no I wasn't. And then it goes on and on and I find myself defending a position I hadn't planned on even taking about Saudi Arabia and other random nations and I'm so confused because by the end of it I've been deamed a self-hating, pessimist, America-bashing liberal when all I was saying was gas prices seemed really high and it sucked and should I buy a hybrid instead of the car I got? I really wish I had a tape recorder so I can see the exact point that a conversation takes that terrible turn where it no longer looks like what you started out with.

Back on topic, I had told the woman that given my cancer history I'm used to doctor's dancing around the issue, and I'd be better off if she just told me. Ugh. So now the doctor is talking to me like I'm twelve, because she can't believe why I had immediately jumped to that conclusion and I ended all this with "No, I think we just have to do the test again." She was like, yeah, that's what I was going to say! Imagine what would happen if people just didn't always assume that they knew what the other person was thinking--the conversations that could take place! The arguments to be avoided! It would be revolutionary.

And for the record: I do not hate America. I do not hate Americans. I do not make blanket statements like that. So the next time you have a disagreement with someone on a certain issue, refrain from calling them names and questioning their loyalty to a country. Geezus.