Okay, I decided to put away about 10% of my salary into my 401 (K). Here's the thing--planning for retirement is a good and positive thing. However, and this doesn't mean I'm not optimistic about a long and happy life, but I wonder if putting that money away into something that I won't technically be able to touch for another five years, is such a good thing. Should I be keeping the money in savings, and use it for a trip? Or should I take advantage of being able to live on a lower salary and take comfort that the money is being put away for the future? I'm very undecided on this.

Hmmm, so I don’t know if I’ve given any quick tips/hints out to all those who are going through the chemo/radiation suckiness. But, here goes some:

1. For avoiding mouth sores during chemo: Definitely get the Hurricane Solution off the bat. Then try to rinse your mouth with Ulcer-Ease (you can get it at CVS) after every meal. Suck on sugar-free lemon candies. Also—I got one of those Oral-B oscillating toothbrushes with soft bristles and I had no teeth problems. DO NOT USE anything Listerine.
2. Taking Prednasone: try taking it with Yoo-Hoo. It definitely cuts the taste.
3. Yogurt has a lot of potassium. Try the Yoplait Whips since it has a fluffy consistency and is easier to eat than the other yogurts.
4. Also with yogurt—smoothies! Get a large bag of frozen fruit (since you can’t have regular fruit). 1 cup of orange/apple/grape juice in a blender. I like the Kirkland yogurts, but any swiss style yogurt will work. Put a handful of fruit in (being sure to wash your hands first) and it’s a really good way to get something down that’s healthy and that you need to be eating.
5. Big fan of Zofran for nausea. Also, peppermint tea is good for settling your stomach.
6. A lot of people aren’t fans of the Aquaphor for radiation. I liked either the Udder Cream or the Dream Cream by Lush (www.lushcanda.com). Also, the Aveeno Baby Oatmeal cream for cradle cap did wonders on the back of my neck.
7. Rosebud Lip Salve ($5 at sephora) helped my lips a lot. I still wind up with dry lips.
8. For drinking water—I really suggest investing in a water bottle to carry around. I had a Spongebob one, but hey to each their own!
9. I used Johnson’s Baby Shampoo on my bald head. I also occasionally put some conditioner to keep it from drying out.
10. If you are running out of eyelashes, line your lid and put on a thickening dark colored mascara on—be very wary of spider lashes though because when they clump together and you don’t have that many it looks soooooooo much worse. No eyelashes—they sell them pretty cheap at the drug store.
11. If you find you’re running out of eyebrows—you can definitely draw them in. I’d recommend using an actual kit because they’ve got all the tools, the powders, and what not and you can still use it to sculpt as they come back in.
12. I used the Dove clothes or foaming cleansers when my skin was really sensitive.
13. I know I sound like an advertisement but Paula Dorf blush in Candy Apple gives the appearance of healthy cheeks. It really rocks. Also if you want to put on makeup use a tinted moisturizer—not a foundation, a bronzer and the blush. Under-eye cream and concealer works wonders, I kid you not. Definitely liked the Bobbi Brown stuff. It’s expensive but it kept me from looking sallow. I didn’t want to go to work looking sick and well, I would spend hours in front of the mirror doing my makeup until I came up with a quick and easy routine.
14. Sennacot (I think that’s how you spell it) and Coalasce each night before you go to bed will really help with all that stuff you might not want to talk about.
15. Be wary of buying any new perfumes—the best bet is to have people get you little samples of stuff that are very light scents or use scented moisturizing creams from Bath and Body works. They’re cheap enough that if you wind up realizing you hate them, you can just throw them away and not feel too bad.
16. You're pretty much not supposed to take any supplements, except for a multi-vitamin. please ask before you take anything. Ask about any and all preventative antibiotics as well.
17. I walked around with my hand wipes at work and the Bath and Body Works Anti-bacterial hand thing. I hardly ever got a cold.
18. Ask the doc which items to always have on hand, in terms of over the counter meds whether it be Robitussin or tylenol or Claritin. No one wants to be running around late looking for all this stuff. Definately invest in a humidifier.

So that last entry was a bit of a downer, eh? I'm working on moving out of that darker stuff, even though cancer (past or present) doesn't really elicit many jokes. However, I do believe that there is humor to be found.

For instance, I went to my first real family party this past Saturday. Have I announced that my brother is an actor? Well, he is. He's very good and is getting quite a career going. He's been on Broadway (as a lead), off-Broadway, and t.v. Oh and a film on PAX. Anyway, we go to this party and here's the awkward part. There are some family members who really dropped off the face of the earth. I haven't heard from them since around January. So I think that when I show up, I definately throw them for a loop and they're all like, yeah, sorry I didn't call or send you a birthday card. But um, here's some cash! Don't be mad. And I'm like--alright. Money will buy me some new stuff to make me happy. Heh. Like one time I was in Sephora with my mother, and we ran into my father's best friend wife. Anyway, so she's there and gets so frazzled about seeing me. I'm trying to say hello and that I'm doing fine, just looking at some stuff and she's seriously gunning for the exit. Recognizing that I don't want to be the girl that makes everyone freakin' uncomfortable, I say "Oh, I really need to get some moisturzer" and walk away. She runs out and then runs back in and hands me $40. Here's the evil part--I was pretty much like, no no thanks this is fine but secrety was like, yay I don't have to pay for the moisturizer! Wahoo! But no, I don't like to take advantage of people's guilt. It's not good karma. And do I need all the good karma I can muster up. Those who are saintly can pass some on. Don't be selfish.

And here is when you know you've been talked about. I'm being introduced to my aunt and uncle's friends and here is how it goes:

Aunt/Uncle: Here is my niece and nephew
Friend: Oh, hello!
Aunt/Uncle: This is Terri.
Friend: Oh. OH! (head tilt) How are you? (Internal Monologue: Hey, she's alive! How come she doesn't look like those people on t.v. all pale and shadow-eyed.)
Anut/Uncle: And this is John.
Friend: (internal monologue: oh thank god. not sick. wait. famous!) HELLO. You're the actor.
Push Terri out of the way, clamp John on back and say: So what was it like to get naked with Lorraine Bracco (internal monologue: sigh of relief. naked women--definately much better than talking to sick girl about dying. Yikes--good thing they've got more than one kid or that would've been awkward).


So, um, yeah. That moment of recongition with their friends is always bizarre because you can tell that they just don't know what to say and fear that I'm going to be like, "Happy to be here for another day." or rant on about something having to do with appreciating life. Sorry, not going to do it. Most likely I'll bitch about the season the Giants are having. Or the excellent-ness of Desparate Housewives. I still know how to have regular conversation. Pick a topic, I definately have an opinion. Just steer away from politics--because on that you may not want to hear my loud, and lengthy opinion.